Mission Call!

I was driving to my friends house on a late Saturday afternoon when my sister called me and told me my mission call had come in the mail. I almost turned around just to go hold it! But my brother and my mom were out of town that day, so we made plans to open it the next night. The time building up to it was surprisingly normal. People kept asking me if I was nervous, but I wasn't. They asked where I thought I'd go, but I had no idea! I knew where I wanted to go and I knew where I didn't want to go.
I really wanted to go to Australia. I really didn't want to go somewhere cold.

When my brother walked in the door that Sunday night, we instantly started calling all of my family members who weren't in Colorado and I got ready to open it! When I opened up my letter, I couldn't even read it! They weren't words to me, just blurry black marks on a white piece of paper. Then out of the haze I saw the word "Salem" and I freaked out! I honestly didn't have any idea where Salem was! Then I read the rest and it said "Oregon Salem Mission" everyone got excited and it was wonderful!
But later that night I started to feel inadequate almost, because it was a state-side mission. I started to wonder if I hadn't been called out of the country because I wasn't strong enough for it or something. It was all pretty depressing. But it didn't last long. I posted where I was going on Facebook and I got a wave of overwhelming support from family, friends, and people I'm not even sure I know! Members and non-members. And I realized it didn't matter where I went, because wherever I go there will be people to teach, and the people are what's really important! Every single day Oregon seems like the absolute best place for me to go! Everyday I get more excited about it! I know that God knows me so well and he knew that this is where I need to be, and I just want to go wherever he wants me to go because I know he'll never let me down.
I know that all mission calls are from God. Elder Rasband gave a beautiful talk about how all mission calls are divine. If you aren't so sure, I would encourage you to read the link ; )

Besides, it will probably be better to go to Australia when I can go to the beach and all. Maybe one day...

A Year Ago. . .

A year ago, if you would have told me I'd be getting ready to serve an LDS mission in 2015, I would have called you crazy. Yet here I am, my papers went in last week, and I'm getting ready for a mission! And it's pretty crazy!
Because a year ago I was wearing shorts that barely covered my butt. My motto when getting dressed was "the less you wear the better!". My job at starbucks made drinking coffee extremely easy and I did it everyday without shame. I was dating a guy and it was not the healthiest relationship. And I certainly was not doing the basic things every diligent LDS member does: read the scriptures, pray, and go to church. My life was a confusing mess of sneaking out, dancing around, being as naked as socially acceptable, and ending up alone wondering why I wasn't happy. I felt like I should be happy because of all the fun I was having, but the happiness was fleeting and didn't stick around.
I knew I wanted to change, but I didn't know how. Or rather, I ignored how.

I've always believed in angels, and I believe people come into our lives for a reason. And I believe that the summer of 2014 God sent me an angel. . . In the form of the most beautiful boy ever.
His name was Stephen. We met at church, in the beginning I didn't think he was very attractive or anything. I first noticed him when he was giving a talk in sacrement meeting and I don't remember a single thing he said, but I remember sitting there and thinking "Wow. His parents must be so proud of him". We became friends, I could tell he liked me and I liked the attention and making the guy I was dating jealous ("not the healthiest relationship") and eventually I started to actually like Stephen. He was fun, good, and he accepted me exactly the way I was, even with all of my flaws. The more time I spent with him the more I liked him, and that grew into love. He never once told me I should change, but he sure made me want to change! I knew that if I ever wanted to deserve someone as wonderful as Stephen, change was necessary. And so, I changed.
I broke up with the guy I was dating, I stopped drinking coffee, I started to take church seriously, I started to pray, and I started the repentance process. Changing was actually pretty easy, all I had to do was decide to change. And I was happy! Insanely happy.

In January I started reading the book of mormon, and Nephi is always saying how he will go and do whatever the Lord commands. As I was reading I kept feeling like I should go on a mission, but I ignored it. Until one night it was too much to ignore. I snapped my scriptures shut and looked at the picture of Jesus on my desk and said out loud "can you stop?!" (don't worry I was the only one home) and then I started crying and begging to do anything but go on a mission, I'd even get married! Then I had a thought that just came to my mind, it was "you don't have to be perfect, you just have to try". And it was clear to me what I needed to do, so I changed my prayer and I asked to be able to have a desire to go on a mission. And miraculously, it happened!
I want to go on a mission so bad now! It's the thing that makes the most sense to me and for once in my life I feel like I'm doing what I need to do without question. But I'm also scared beyond reason. Sometimes I feel like it was all some sort of mistake, because I feel like I am the most unqualified person to be teaching others the gospel. For most of my life I've been this weird half mormon, I didn't do personal progress, I didn't go to seminary, I didn't really pay attention in church, and I just finished the book of mormon all the way through for the first time a week ago! But I suppose if I've learned anything, it's that it's never too late to change.
A year ago, the idea of going on a mission seemed impossible. Now my personal mission is to make it possible.